Helmet of the Future is Here!

Uncle Victor got a new helmet. The graphics could use another paint job, but the features on this thing is amazing! As I picked up the helmet in admiration, I saw a label towards the bottom at the chin skirt that read something like,

"Depress button to release valve."

What? What? What? Valve? What valve? Why is there a valve? There are tons of intakes and exhaust vents but valves? There's also a big red button the size of a quarter on the chin area. It's more like a bubble than anything else. The bright red color shouts, "touch me only in the case of an emergency." My curiosity was the emergency, so I pressed it. I pressed it again. Then I pressed the little silver "release valve," and heard "tsssssssss."

The cheek pads are inflatable!!! Yeah, that's right! The cheek pads inflate like the old school Reebok pump shoes from elementary school! The helmet is custom fit using this button! Amazing. As if the built in sun visor wasn't impressive enough, it has a custom cheek pad fitment feature. Not only that, but the cost of the helmet was $99. OMG, mine was $114 and I didn't have neither of those features. The Scorpion Apollo EXO-1000 helmet is insane!

Apparently Scorpion knows the helmet is ugly b/c the sale price is only available on the blue versions. The other colors are more expensive, $139. Regular price though? A whopping $310!